My Favorite President and My Complicated Relationship with Lutheranism

Today in Religion and the US Founding, we talked about my favorite president, Thomas Jefferson. And I was reminded today all over again why that is. Also, today in Early Modern Pol Thought, we talked about Martin Luther. If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I have a complicated history with Mr. Luther and his doctrine.

First, in Rel/US...We had to read three documents  by Jefferson today - the Declaration of Independence, a letter from TJ to his nephew, Peter Carr, and "Notes on the State of Virginia." Collectively, he had some extremely powerful things to say about reason, religion, and, obviously, what America should be. My absolute favorite quote of all time came from his letter to Peter Carr:

"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear."

I mean...WOW. This sums me up. This is what I've been screaming internally for my entire [Lutheran] life (you might be able to see where this is going). As my previous post might indicate, I hate hate hate HAAAATE people like Pat Robertson that thrive on...well, hate. People who get off on informing everyone else that there is a God and, wwwwooooah, buddy, are you EVER in trouble with him. [Not ME, though. He SPEAKS to me.]

Everyone (except maybe Pat Robertson) has the ability to reason. To use their head. To look at a situation and say, hmm, something isn't right about this. Perhaps I should investigate it. I agree with my favorite president and think that any God that might exist would appreciate us thinking that way. 

Ok, here's where Luther comes in.

My life has been very, very Lutheran. I went to an ELCA Church growing up, an LCMS gradeschool, and a "Free Lutheran" high school (though I'm not entirely clear on what that means). My aunt and uncle are Lutheran pastors. So was my great-grandfather. Both my parents had Lutheran upbringings and mostly brought me up the same way (I say "mostly" because I dabbled in Baptist-ism for a while, which they were pretty supportive about). Anyway, to sum it up, any time any family thing happens, at least one Lutheran church service is involved. And that's totally cool. I love my family, and I love keeping family tradition alive - and I definitely consider Lutheranism to be family tradition. I'm told that my family, way back when, helped found the LCMS. That, for me, is something to be proud of.

That being said, there is definitely some negativity there. Much of the "FIRE BRIMSTONE HELL FIRE BLAAAAAAHHHHH YOU MUST FEAR THE WRATH OF GOD" crap I've heard in my life has either been in my grade school, my childhood church, and my high school (admittedly, there have also been other sources, but we're not talking about them). I have always had a voice (probably my Reason!!) inside me say, hang on, it can't really be all that bad. Whoever, wherever, WHATever God is, he's got to be more understanding than that.

Tonight in EMPT, we went back to the very beginning roots of Lutheranism, and you know, Luther was on the right track. Sola Fide. Faith Alone. Not works - you can never earn God's salvation - but it's ok, because he's chuck full of grace and love for you.

Now, to be clear, I have all kinds of problems with the whole faith thing, which has probably been my problem for my entire life, if only subliminally. I mean, yeah, the Bible says that God is a good God, but if God was a bad God, would the Bible tell us that? No. A bad God wouldn't be obligated or compelled to tell us the truth. That's just part of it - my point is, you just can't KNOW, based on the Bible. And, unfortunately, that's the only real way God (assuming he exists and is the Christian God) has chosen to communicate with us. (DISCLAIMER: If anyone looks at this point and wants to say "Oh but look at the pretty birds and the powerful oceans and the expansive cosmos and you have all the proof you need right there" please, please, PLEASE don't waste your time, or mine).

I guess the basis of what I'm saying is that Lutheranism only demands faith from you - my problem is acquiring said faith.

That's why I so appreciate Thomas Jefferson, and his reasoned reassurance that it is ok to be doubtful, as long as it's rooted in reason. If you're truly, honestly lost (which I TOTALLY am), that's ok. Try your hardest, do your best - whatever God is out there sees it. The way I figure it, if there's not a God, then nothing really matters anyway. If he exists and he's evil, then we're all gonna roast anyway. But if there IS a God, if he is a GOOD God, and if he DID create me just the way I am, if he IS watching as closely as they say - then he'll understand that I'm trying my hardest, and that I'm thinking the way he created me to think. He will not condemn me for that.

Tell Me...

How does a fuckhead like Pat Robertson get any influence, at all, whatsoever?

I stumbled upon a website of Pat Robertson quotes, and I'd think that only the brainwashed and insane could possibly take him seriously. But apparently, he has quite the following, and I cannot for the life of me understand why!!!

Admittedly, I don't know anything about him. I don't know how he got money, what his educational background is, or what his background is in general. But when I read things like this, the rest is just moot point. The dude is cracked. I thought we got past the whole "God creates natural disasters to punish the gays" and shit like that somewhere around two hundred years ago. It's called science, dipshit. Hurricanes come around the same time of year, just like blizzards and tsunamis - COULD IT BE that it's because there's a YEARLY CYCLE of the Earth, and weather patterns follow it????! The list of offensive-to-reason things he says goes beyond God using weather to get back at the gays, but my point is made. He's obviously not using the brain that his God gave him.

Thank you, Pat Robertson, for reinforcing, nay, PROVING, my theory that those who "hear from God" just SUCK. If God's gonna waste his time talking to you then he's got pretty poor choice in in the company he keeps.

Facebook: Showing How Little People Actually Pay Attention/Care

Ok, so I've been off of Facebook for well over a month now. By "off of Facebook," I mean that I had my boyfriend change my account password, installed an application on my computer whereby the actual Facebook site is blocked, had my boyfriend password-protect said application, installed Facebook Mobile Texts for my phone so that I could update my status on the go/receive notifications when people comment on said mobile statuses. The mobile status updates are the only connection I have to Facebook at all whatsoever.

I'm doing this because I've grown to despise Facebook and the way it has changed my relationships with people and the way it utterly absorbs my time "keeping up with people." I just don't care that much, but I can't stop constantly keeping my News Feed updated, stalking people who I never talk to anymore, and participating in the endless meaningless activities that Facebook provides (and no, I don't mean Farmville). I much, much, MUCH prefer updating Facebook on the go, kind of like Twitter, and while I don't have access to what other people are saying unless they directly comment on my status, I've found that, when I'm not on Facebook, I just don't care. It's been refreshing, to say the least, to have such limited contact, and to have more time to do actual important things.

Anyway, it's been this way for, like, a month now. I've made it very clear in my Facebook blog and in that little "say something about yourself" box that I'M NOT HERE. I CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU POST. DON'T EVEN TRY. And yet, people are getting mad at me for "not replying to their messages," or "not responding to their wall posts," or whatever. Yep, there's a good reason for that - I can't see it. I WON'T see it. Not until Christmas vacation, at the earliest, when I'm going to allow myself back on. Even though I've made this abundantly clear, people just aren't paying attention.

It's little wonder why that is. It's because people don't actually take the time to look at your profile - they see what content of yours is being posted on the News Feed, and go from there. I wonder if people would go to my profile at all if I just quit posting via Fbook Mobile Texts. Probably not. Does it bother me? Not in the slightest, until they get mad at me for "not responding" when I'm not even ON. Just goes to show how little people actually care. Kind of like me.

I guess it's not all Facebook's fault - it's largely my own. I can't control myself/manage my time when it comes to Facebook. And that IS my problem. Maybe all of this sounds a tad cynical, but I'm just astounded more people aren't sick of the hypocrisy - "Omg, keep in touch with the people you never see!" Yeah, ok, there's merit in that, but counting on it to consistently keep in touch with the people you DO see all the time? to keep tabs on people you will likely never see again? COME ON. Does no one else think that this is unhealthy, to an extent? Does no one else think it a tidge egotistical?

Facebook has changed the face of communication and even has its own code of etiquette. I say, to Hell with it. I'm tired of my social life being dictated by my participation in Facebook. If that means not having a social life, fine, I have enough actual relationships in my life to keep afloat.

Sunshine and Puppies.

This is my brother and his girlfriend.

They're so cute, I can hardly tolerate it.

Somewhere between Sad and Hilarious, there's this...

I can't shut up about my classes, and I'm sorry...

...but I need to get all of these wonderful THOUGHTS down somewhere!!

I just got out of an awesome International Relations lecture session where we discussed the possibilities of global governance and what that looks like today.

I've never thought positively about the possibility of a world order - maybe that's because of my religious background. To me, global gov't has meant what is talked about in the book Revelation, and that = not good. But I'm realizing the difference between global governance and global government - and there really is a world of difference. There is no hierarchical order that supercedes sovereign authority, nor will there ever be - but, as the world gets smaller and communication gets more instantaneous, a global system has indeed begun to take shape. The question is how to make these governmental networks, connections across borders, and state-to-state, organization-to-organization relationships work in a way that promotes our progress.

There are a plethora of problems. So many, that there will never NOT be problems. But that doesn't make it any less fascinating, that in the natural endeavor of human progress, such a leviathan (and I don't mean a Hobbesian leviathan) has taken form and is influencing us in the day-to-day.

Think about it: Facebook and Twitter create connections between people that would never, ever meet under normal circumstances. Last year when shit went down in the Gaza Strip, Twitter was alerting all of us on this side of the world to what was going on through the personal perspective of an actual person who was actually experiencing the chaos. These personal stories resonate with us, and soon, everyone can sympathize one way or another, and there you have a global network of world citizens, pondering the same questions, mulling over the same moral quandaries, thinking the same (if conflicting) thoughts. This is HUGE, and certainly can't be regulated by any one sovereign state, because it touches and affects almost every sovereign nation on this planet.

Facebook and Twitter aren't governments, but there is governance involved - maybe on the higher levels of administration, but also on an individual basis. It's become only natural for this sort of structure to take place.

That's so different from the apocalyptic, world tyranny picture painted in Revelation. This liberal course that the world has set has so, so much potential - it's hard not to get excited about it. While it has its problems, it may also hold some very crucial solutions.

Well, Color Me Enlightened

I love my classes.

First of all, I don't think I have a single bad professor. Yeah, there are some dry ones in the bunch, but they are all very knowledgeable and have mechanisms in place that ensure my success (as long as I follow through - which we all know I will).

Secondly, aside from Latin, they are all classes toward my majors, and that makes all the difference in the world in terms of my sustained attention and interest, and my commitment to completing my homework. This has been a problem in past semesters - although I will undoubtedly get behind (ha, who are we kidding, I'm already behind), the subjects I'm studying are more than enough motivation for me to get caught up.

Religion and the US Founding easily tops the list of my favorite classes ever. It's at least in the top three. Professor Fischer is upbeat, funny, and she knows EVERYTHING about this subject. I want to be just like her. I have no idea what her personal beliefs are, but boy, does she ever get us to think. I read through our first reading assignment; it's about Deism and its origins  I couldn't put it down - it basically changed my life. If the rest of our readings have even HALF the impact, then this will be the easiest and most rewarding A I will ever get in my college career.

International Relations was intimidating going in - Ratemyprofessors.com didn't give me much hope. Professor Duvall is the chair of the Poli Sci department and he's taught at Yale and other ridiculous places. Bottom line, he knows his shit. But, reading through my first assignment in his class really got me to think of the possibilities, and I learned a whole new side of international relations that I didn't really get in my intro course at UMD. It was very realist-oriented, and while we will cover realism in this course, we have started in the liberalist camp, and it's not something I knew very much about. The reading is complex and it repeats itself a LOT, but it sheds light on the possibilities for our world, and I came away from it learning a great deal. It might not be easy or an A, but it will be fun.

Early Modern Political Thought will be a challenge, as well - while I LOVED my Intro to Political Thought class in Duluth, not only is the professor very, very different, but we are also going a lot more in-depth. Our writing assignments require a turned-in, peer-reviewed rough draft, which means that I'm actually going to have to work ahead of time (not my strong suit). I am very much looking forward to being reunited with my friends Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau, and learning tidbits from my new friend Machiavelli and maybe even my old nemesis, Luther. Reading Machiavelli hasn't been easy or fun (yet), but I'm hoping to get some new insights. I CAN get an A, but with my workload I will probably have to settle for an A-.

The History of the Ancient Near East - honestly, I thought my concentration was going to be in Ancient History when I started college, but I haven't been able to take an ancient history course until now, either because I had more important things to take or all the ancient history classes filled before I could sign up for them. And boy, this one is going to give me a run for my money. The reading is dense and very dryly historical (aka boooorrrrringggg) and we need to know MAPS. Ugh. Fml. Despite the difficulties, it will be interesting. Despite its interesting nature, I am not expecting an A. Frankly, I'd be shocked at an A-.

Then there's Latin. Oh Latin. I have my favorite Latin prof, Andrew, THANK GOD. That is the only good thing about this class, besides the fact that I'm taking it pass-fail. Things have been very review-oriented over the past week and a half and NOTHING is coming back. Yeah, ok, I remember some declension endings, but sequence of tenses? Verb conjugations and synopses? Gerunds and gerundives?? ABLATIVES??? Forget it. Forgot it. Forgotten. Reading Caesar sucks, and every single bloody day, without fail, I ask myself why I was so stupid as to choose to study this horribly organized dead language. I'll pass it, but I will not enjoy it.


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These A's and 'passes' will only come with dedication and hard work. I'm behind now because of my little Gettysburg getaway, but believe you me, that will not last long.

Thank GOD I'm not on Facebook.

The Exorcist

When I was little, maybe around age 7 or 8, The Exorcist was re-released in theaters. I guess it was a pretty big deal, there were commercials on TV advertising it for weeks ahead of time. The commercials terrified me - they literally gave me nightmares. There was one shot in the commercials that I remember very well - one where a girl in a nightgown was doing a very painful-looking crab walk down a staircase, screaming in some horrible voice that is hard to forget as an 8-year old. I saw that shot over and over again in my head every time I shut my eyes, and I swore up and down that I would never, ever see that horrible movie.

It wasn't until this past week that I watched the Exorcist for the first time.

Probably not because I was scared or anything, I just haven't gotten around to it. :-P

[Oh, and that image of the girl crab-walking down the stairs? It never came up. I was sort of disappointed.]

I think that, back when I watched the Exorcist commercials, it was the first time I'd been exposed to any sort of possibility of the demonic. Don't get me wrong, I knew all about the devil and Hell thanks to my elementary education - but the possibility of the devil and his minions manifesting themselves in everyday life as opposed to them being stuck in Hell where they couldn't get to me, or anyone I cared about, or anyone else? I think that scared me more than any image Hollywood could conjure.

As I watched the movie, there were several moments that reminded me of my own spiritual journey throughout my life. I was struck by how far I've come since first seeing those commercials, and yet, how unbelievably lost I am in all things faith/God oriented - I guess some would call that negative progress.

Maybe it's not all good - no, I have not had a positive experience with religion of any kind; no, I don't know what to think about God (and that is hard for me); yes, I lose sleep over it; yes, it has affected my life -  but I don't think it's all bad. It has pounded me into what I am today, and I would not trade a single step in my journey for anything, even if I might desperately want to. That's because I know the things I know thanks to my experiences; every experience, every moment that doesn't kill you is precious in some form or another, even the hardest, most unbearable ones.

Class Schedule, Fall '10

Ancient Civilization: Near East and Egypt - 10:10-11am, MWF, Prof. von Dassow

International Relations - 12:20-1:10pm, MWF, Prof. Duvall

Religion and the US Founding - 12:45-2pm, TTh, Prof. Fischer

Latin Prose - 2:30-3:20pm, MTWTh, Professors Willey and Smith

Early Modern Political Thought - 4-5:15pm, TTh, Instructor details unknown (???)



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I'm excited for the upcoming semester. I've been waiting to take a class on Ancient Egypt since I got to college, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Founding Fathers history, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOVVVVVVEEE Political Thought and am looking forward to being reunited with my friends Hobbes, Locke, and Rousseau, my Int'l Rel's prof is reportedly the best and hardest in the Poli Sci department....

...and then there's Latin. I'm trying really, really hard to get excited about it. I will be reading Cicero, so there's an upside, I guess.


It all begins tomorrow. I'm going to hopefully get a locker at or near Blegen Hall (where 4 of my classes are - 3 of them are even in the same room) and use it to keep my gym clothes/crap I don't need to take home every night. I'm also planning on making Wilson 78 my study refuge.


The best part - three and a half months from now, I'll be a senior!!!!!!!

Bring it, Fall Semester.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the last day of my far-too-short summer. And I'm not spending it in the sun, or doing anything fun, really...for one thing, it will be raining, and for another, I have a TON of work to do before classes start.

My room is a mess.
I don't have all of my books yet.
I don't have a bike route to campus yet.
I need a helmet.
I need to get a locker.
I need to pay the rest of my tuition.
Two of my professors are unaware that I will be missing two of their classes right off the bat.
And laundry. My GOD, laundry.

My summer WAS too short. That's my own faut...but I wouldn't have changed anything about it. I loved going to Berlin, and I was happy to take extra classes to make the trip worth the money. I'm sad that things dragged out as long as they did, and I wish that money grew on trees so I didn't have to work...but the past three weeks of freedom and the things I learned and experienced in the past three or four months are priceless.

I'm going to Gettysburg next weekend...my mom's step-brother is getting married. Talk about an AWESOME destination. But, yeah, I am missing two days of class to do this thing. THAT sucks...I hope my profs aren't pissed about it.

The cabin was fun this weekend - it wasn't super warm but I did get some sun. I brought Alex, Conor brought his friend Phifer, and yeah, it was a good time. Indiana Jones, Scrabble, and my new Kindle were prominently featured.

I GOT A KINDLE and it is the most amazing thing I've ever owned. I can download books, MANY of them for free (or close to free), and those I have to purchase are largely discounted from a hard-copy price. It has text-to-speech, the ability to highlight and take notes, I can get most of my textbooks for the semester on it, I can read it in the sun (and in the wind!!), and it can hold like 3500 books in its memory. FREAKIN COOL. Conor asked me this weekend why I didn't just get an iPad, and you know what...the Kindle will enable me to study a lot better. I don't need all the bells and whistles of an iPad, I have a laptop for that. Plus, I'd just break an iPad, Kindles are a lot more durable (hopefully, anyway).

Well, I'd better get started on my 'starting school to-do list.' For those of you who are starting (or have already started) classes, good luck!!! If you ever need a study buddy, I'm game. :)

Peace, love, and all that...
Jessie